celebrity plastic surgery : History of Michael Jackson's Face - part 3

The "Black Lagoon" phase
Big news brings Michael out of his Howard Hughes-like life and back into the spotlight when he charges his record company, Sony, is "racist". That's why his "Invincible" CD sold 2 million copies; Sony didn't promote him enough. He sez. We all get to gasp anew and ask the question - WTF?! Seems he's had his nose fixed,,,WHEW! and just got out of bed. As it is reported in the news it seems a bridge was built to widen the nasal passages. "Thank God!" the headlines say. Poor thing probably couldn't breathe! with those teensy bitty nostrils. Oh How Nice For Him! Perhaps his singing will improve, since his last album was 70 minutes of hiccups, grunts, fake crying and yips. One has to wonder why, with all his money, he can't seem to find plastic surgeons who are capable of actually doing plastic surgery. The "fixed" bridge appears as two lumpy lines and not what say, just for the sake of argument, a plastic surgeon might put in someone's face to create a nose bridge. Maybe this is a new trend in Breath-Rite Strip implants? One wonders what those Jutting Gill Bumps were on the sides of his jaw in 1997. Mike ruins his symmetry schtick with mismatched, lopsided eyes and lipstick like my senile Aunt Margaret wears. Music critics and even those in the record industry are saying OK, quite enough from this goof. There is even a TV special in the UK asking - If this is what the guy is doing to his outside, then what the hell is going on inside? What's happened to our Michael?

Tracey Orvez took this photo in the parking lot of the Beverly Regent Hotel in Beverly Hills, California. She heard he was there so waited in hopes of seeing him. What a surprize it must have been to see The Mike, making his way to his limo dressed in only blue Jammies with snow flakes and polar bears on them. Always a good look for a star, I say. She asked if she could take his photo and he said sure...as long as she "stood well back".


I can't imagine why.

The publicly decried "third nostril", which appeared after the January plastic surgery (see above photo) that a few took time out of their busy days to write and inform me I was full of shit about, seems to be closing up but has left an obvious scar. The tip, which has been rumored (damn, I'm good) to have died and/or be a puttied-on prothesis looks to be dead tissue and/or a puttied on prothesis. Said Ms. Orvez: "He looked like a ghoul. When I had the picture developed, I was sick. The guy doesn't appear to have a nose."

Well, when you hack away at it for 15 years, that happens. But as my detractors write to me, I just put these vicious "lies" up because I'm "jealous". I am, boy howdy! I'm jealous I don't have whatever it is Mike's on to make his pupils the size of dinner plates. And I would really love some Polar bear and snowflake jammies myself. I wish Tracey mentioned if they had Feets in them or not! It's hell trying to find "fun" jammie feets pajamas when you're a grown up woman. How envious I am that a grown man can!

The Latex Monkey In a Bad Wig Look of Planet Michael

The story is that Mike was in court because of a $21 million suit filed by his longtime promoter, Marcel Avram. He says Mike didn't show up for 2 concerts New Years Eve 2000 and Mike says he thought they'd been canceled so spent the night at home watching TV. ::rolling eyes:::

Jackson wore a surgical mask when entering and leaving the courthouse (gee..wonder why?). His former publicist says he routinely wears the mask "to protect his throat from pollution and germs". Like that reason in itself is a perfectly normal one. You see anyone else walking around with surgical masks on? Perhaps it's to hide the dead, rotting tip of his putty nose. Just to throw out an idea here. What I think we have here is the New Howard Hughes.

I like the wig though. I wasn't aware that the historic (3000 - 1200 BC) tradition of wearing dead marmots on your head had been revived. Are those caterpillar eyebrows? A 1000-yard stare? What a trend setter!

Thirty fans were allowed into the courtroom after winning that "honor" by Lotto.

Mr. Potatohead Michael
We can all rest easier now - Michael got a new nose courtesy of Dr. Werner Mang, a German Plastic surgeon. Not only is Dr. Mang a gifted genius, but he doesn't mind talking about how he made Michael a new nose out of part of his ear. Just in time for Mike's child molestation trial, so he's looking good. Except for wearing white to court, and everyone knows you don't wear white after Labor Day.

So Dr. Mang says that Mike's "people" in 1998 about fixing his nose, since it was rotting off his face. Mang did the operation in the office of Michael's regular plastic surgeon, the one who ought to be sued for malpractice. He took a slice of cartilage from Mike's ear and slapped that puppy on his non-nose. He stated that Michael has an obsession with plastic surgery and wants to change from a black man to a white woman. He really said that, too. I really like this doctor. He thinks like me! Michael's regular plastic surgeon said that after every album, Mike had more surgery done and always wanted a thinner nose. Michael, however, still claims he only had two procedures done on his nose and nothing else. Not one thing. His face just sort of "squared out" and, mercifully, he got a much better wig.

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